My stats tell me that people from a number of countries have read this pulled-together-just-for-Writing 101-blog, which is very gratifying. Of all the countries listed, the one that intrigues me the most is New Zealand. Who are you, Mr./Mrs./Ms. New Zealand? Can i call you NW for short? Hey, those are the initials for North West, Kanye West and Kim Kardashians’ kid, so you’re almost famous.
I think it would be so cool to be from somewhere where the residents are known as “Kiwis.” We have cool names for state residents, like “Sooner” or Buckeye” or “Hoosier” but in the aggregate, we’re just know as boring old Americans.
Have you ever seen a Kiwi bird? I bet it’s amazinng to see them running around everywhere. Do you think the other birds make fun of them because they can’t fly? They’re like the chickens of New Zealand, only cuter and weirder-looking. Do you know that the Kiwi was voted New Zealanders’ favorite bird? You probably do, because it’s not surprising.
Do you know Lorde? Does everyone in New Zealand know her? She’s odd in that creative way that only someone living somewhere off the beaten path is. Like Bjork. Yeah, Lorde is the Bjork of New Zealand just like the Kiwi is your chicken.
Shit! I just did a Google search for “Famous New Zealanders” and I had no idea so many mainstream famous people were born in your country, Russell Crowe? I thought he was Australian. Same with Keith Urban, the country singer who’s married to Nicole Kidman. And Peter Jackson, who did all the Hobbit movies.
Does it piss you off when people think a famous person is from Australia when they’re actually from New Zealand?
I hope not because I just want to be your friend.